Wednesday, 2 December 2009

9th Blog Post...It's all gone tits up...

Hmmmm, this could be awkward...

Last year I entered the Merlin Cycle - a 70+mile sportif around Carmarthenshire where I was unofficially 7th home last year...I also hailed myself John Boonen for months after...I even signed into Working Mens clubs under this name. It's cause I'm cool.

World Champion innit....quick question, is Coke a performance enh....what?

Anyhow, I woke up at 5:50am for the 7am start fully anticipating cycling the 15 miles to the start...but unfortunately, I fell asleep with a bowl of porridge on my crotch watching "Aerobics Oz Style". So in essence, I missed the event...

Very informative....apparenlty?

So, out of guilt, I decided to cycle the 70+ miles on a different (better...neh!) route...I had to pass the dreaded 'Sugar Loaf Mountain/Hill' then double back over myself and take on the 'Black Mountain'. Great cycle.

Anywhoo, whilst at the top of the first mountain, The Sugar Loaf, I pulled into the car park to 'adjust' myself and take on some fluid. Looked down and found 4 photos face down? Out of curiosity, I flipped one over and to my amazement, it turned out to be some bird with her bush out? The next photo was the same bird with her funbags out!!
I hastily turned the other two photos over (after checking around to see if Jeremy Beadle was in a bush filming me...) and it just got better...she had her whaps out and was socks?!!! a caravan.

Small hand of the Law...watchit!

She looks foreign. And she smokes. And there was a 1.5l bottle of Woodpecker. Brilliant.

Tubesocks....the new wonderbra...?!

Anyway, my memory of late has been a bit...err...shite. So I titally (see what I did there) forgot about the photos...until last week. I had a sudden flashback to the photos, ran upstairs to my bedroom and found out that my mother had rearranged my sock drawer?! Feeeeecccckkk.

Photos have disappeared and there hasn't been any mention of the 'glam' shots over our traditional family sit down over 'bubble & squeak' on Monday nights....

Hmmmmm, how do I get around this issue without coming across (not literally) like a pervert?! It's bad enough I spend the majority of my time in lycra as it is...

Any help appreciated...

Rover and out.

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